October 11 marks the International Girl child day. As I join
the world to mark this important day, I have issues to disagree with. Of the
recent time, most probably since I was born, the song has always been that the
girl child is under serious inhumane receiving end. I may end up concluding my
days on this planet without the song ceasing. It may not if I keep quiet.
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| a magnified insect |
I am not ignorant of the fact that the girl child is
always-in many instances-vulnerable to misdeeds of sexual abuse, early motherhood,
and reproductive problems, untitled to inheritance, violence and others that a woman
may be prone to. I know that there are communities that prefer boys to girls. I
know
I happen to have attended gender classes for three years at
the campus and all the above had been recurring in the lectures and
discussions. To present, I cannot determine whether the attendance to those
classes was in any way aimed to better my views into the gender world. What would
happen at the end was that the lecturer could step in to cool the heated
exchange between gents and ladies. The ladies were proving gents wrong as they
kept on justifying themselves. Women were the lecturers.
I grew up in a family of eight. I have four sisters and a
younger brother. Our mother loved us all. What I ate, my sisters ate. What I
wanted, my sisters’ also got. But I was always caught up in pinches and cains
when I tended to fight with my sister. I could not outdo her in word exchanges.
To bear up the pain and stop her, I went for the slap. She could then yell out
and slap back. Then a fight. When mom would come home from the tea-picking job,
she would be told how abusive I was and the result would be pinches, slaps and
even sleep on an empty stomach when I seemed defiant. In all these, she did
without listening to my views because the sisters could not give me room for
expression.
I was the first to run to the river and fill the jericans before
they could collect to home. We fetched firewood together. I herded alongside. It
was easy to send me to the shop because I was swift. It was also safe to have
me sent in the dark. But I feared the darkness!
It is not pleasing to hear that the girl child is on the
receiving end to many misfortunes. If there was a one-time blow to all the problems,
then I’d set a year off just to blow away the issues. The problems however continue
to build and grow strong as never before. The perpetrator is assumed to be the
man.
What are the effects of giving the girl child the attention
she deserves? There are as many as a person would think of while settled in a
haven. In the long run, the girl child happens to secure ‘wrong’ attention and
the boy child is at the expense of her awareness. If you have not yet tested
the trouble of an empowered girl you may not agree to this. It’s intolerable!
When we take to the stage to teach girls on matters of
gender and sexuality, what should we really tell them? How should we sieve the
information? How should we distinguish between the good and the bad? How should
we tell them their limitations without showing animosity with the boys? It’s been happening that the forums and
discussions leave the girls more confused than before some seeing their rights
so many than they can handle. They therefore get excited, feeling mighty than
they should be.
I was asking a group of my peers whether they would be free
to marry a country-side woman (we will be marrying soon) who is least of academic
qualifications and achievements. Just as it was in my mind, they were never disapproved
to it. A good lady for a spouse should not be rated by her academic
qualifications, we agreed. I however do
not expect to throw such a self-explanatory question to a campus lady. This is
because not even the classmates are her limits.
As we make all aware of their rights, some of us use the
opportunity to incite and confuse. The real essence of assigning rights gets
lost. Feminism led to radicalization of some women who later adopted
lesbianism. It was also the start of bra-less ideology.
Talking is simple. Performing is the test. If I was asked to
advice a young girl on issues of gender and behavior, I’d not say much. She is
already informed by her vision ability. Televisions have applauded women who
conquer mountains. The roads are full of half-naked women. The schools are full
of liberal minded people. The families are not strong enough to advocate for
anything. She is in fact free to disagree with what you may advise.
Where is the boy child? He is busy nursing neglection. The learning
institutions continue to increase the intake of girl child into their programs.
The boy child is in the gutters abusing illicit brew. The school was not bearable
due to his explorative nature. He fights for opportunities that have already
been secured. He has no one to help him. He has opted to assume women tasks to
survive. He has nothing to tell a learned girl. He knows that learned girls are
unbearable. But he keeps to himself.
As they grow into full beings, the girl child has a lot to
offer. She can become a single mother and nurse her children. If she has no
money, she can survive in the city by opting for sex work job. The unlearned boys
lust at them at their night shift work places. In the cold, they guard
property. That is their job. Women will be back in the morning to open the
stalls and call for more rights.
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