My greatest fear is to go up. Up?
That is how I would simply say to anyone who asked me that question. I am
afraid of coming down. And so I wonder whether my fear is of going up or coming
down. I would rather miss a party for fear of a hangover, refuse ‘heaven’ for
fear of ‘hell’, have a beautiful girl leave immediately than stay for a while and
leave me clobbering self. I live with my fear everyday and that is why I keep a
daily diary.
Your Inner Child of The Past, a book written by Hugh Missildine, M.D.
looks into our past exposures that are now influencing our adult takings. He
says that it is impossible for an adult to assume that all the time he should behave
as such. More often the past child comes into the picture influencing a number
of things. That is why on the marriage bed are 4 people and not two. That is
why most of break-ups have something like ‘she/he behaves like a child’ as
reasons.
To kill or parent your inner
child (fears) is what an adult should firmly understand. The way we understand
the world is from the eyes we developed (were given to us) as we grew. It is
either as adults we live to suffocate the child of what we had much or indulge
the child in what we missed. Growing up in poverty, diseases, abuse, solitude
or having our ways through as children would lead to identifying our fears
majorly on them. We have grown up in fear of exams, losing the bread winner,
leading a similar poor life etc
And so I took to asking my
friends what their greatest fears are. Now that it is not a school requirement
to skew the data, I will simply include them here, confidentiality upholded, in
the simplest way that won’t kill my time. I thank all who participated, avoided
the question, answered sparingly and the ones who will read this article.
Facebook friends were the major questioned
populace. As expected, Facebook is not a place where you would expect people to
say what they really feel. They fear saying truth and that is why most of us
have plastic attributes on social media. One good fear response I got is the fear to speak to strangers. With
such an answer and you are my friend on Facebook, my question inboxed, what is
the problem with you? Another wondered why she should tell me her greatest
fear. Another, after what I will call a second thought said that he fears fear
itself. That is a temerised mind, I guess.
Credit goes to what I’d call ‘honest’
answers. A friend said that he fears that his wife stopped loving him, another
said to see his child lead a miserable life, another to lose a lover to a
friend, another to continue the miserable life he leads, another the fear of
sexual intercourse and another whether her future husband will love her. These
are the people you would want to continue a conversation with. Common fears include death and lose of a love
one. I wouldn’t call it greatest. Vagueness is to think you got no fear, to say
that your fear is fear itself, to say fear is but a mental creation or the fear
of the unknown. The would-be sociopaths may linger here.
And as we go from one day to
another, armored to handle our fears, we should not create a mentality of victimhood
but an acceptance that we parent, tease, challenge and live life to the
fullest. It is from fears that hope and determination emerges! Enjoy your fears…
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