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The struggle with many a rigid Logooli cultural practices

  The Logooli community is one of the deeply cultured societies – with near everything supposed to have been done as per custom – to allow another custom to follow. One example is that for a mature man (with a child or more) to be buried, there must be a house structure at home. Another is that a boy must be circumcised and nursed in father land. If maternal family decides to, the boy will have a hard time reconnecting with father people - a dent on his masculinity. There were two children who got burnt to death in a house in Nairobi. The single mother had left for night work. Elders were told that one of the children was Logooli. The other, the woman had sired with someone else. The Logooli family wanted to burry their little one and long discussed the do’s and don’ts. Of a man who died childless and the grave was placed as if he had died as a man with children. It should have been dug on the sides, the grave. A real thorn should have been thrust in his buttocks, his name go...

What's your greatest fear?

My greatest fear is to go up. Up? That is how I would simply say to anyone who asked me that question. I am afraid of coming down. And so I wonder whether my fear is of going up or coming down. I would rather miss a party for fear of a hangover, refuse ‘heaven’ for fear of ‘hell’, have a beautiful girl leave immediately than stay for a while and leave me clobbering self. I live with my fear everyday and that is why I keep a daily diary.

Your Inner Child of The Past, a book written by Hugh Missildine, M.D. looks into our past exposures that are now influencing our adult takings. He says that it is impossible for an adult to assume that all the time he should behave as such. More often the past child comes into the picture influencing a number of things. That is why on the marriage bed are 4 people and not two. That is why most of break-ups have something like ‘she/he behaves like a child’ as reasons.

To kill or parent your inner child (fears) is what an adult should firmly understand. The way we understand the world is from the eyes we developed (were given to us) as we grew. It is either as adults we live to suffocate the child of what we had much or indulge the child in what we missed. Growing up in poverty, diseases, abuse, solitude or having our ways through as children would lead to identifying our fears majorly on them. We have grown up in fear of exams, losing the bread winner, leading a similar poor life etc

And so I took to asking my friends what their greatest fears are. Now that it is not a school requirement to skew the data, I will simply include them here, confidentiality upholded, in the simplest way that won’t kill my time. I thank all who participated, avoided the question, answered sparingly and the ones who will read this article.

Facebook friends were the major questioned populace. As expected, Facebook is not a place where you would expect people to say what they really feel. They fear saying truth and that is why most of us have plastic attributes on social media. One good fear response I got is the fear to speak to strangers. With such an answer and you are my friend on Facebook, my question inboxed, what is the problem with you? Another wondered why she should tell me her greatest fear. Another, after what I will call a second thought said that he fears fear itself. That is a temerised mind, I guess.

Credit goes to what I’d call ‘honest’ answers. A friend said that he fears that his wife stopped loving him, another said to see his child lead a miserable life, another to lose a lover to a friend, another to continue the miserable life he leads, another the fear of sexual intercourse and another whether her future husband will love her. These are the people you would want to continue a conversation with.  Common fears include death and lose of a love one. I wouldn’t call it greatest. Vagueness is to think you got no fear, to say that your fear is fear itself, to say fear is but a mental creation or the fear of the unknown. The would-be sociopaths may linger here.


And as we go from one day to another, armored to handle our fears, we should not create a mentality of victimhood but an acceptance that we parent, tease, challenge and live life to the fullest. It is from fears that hope and determination emerges! Enjoy your fears…

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