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Heavy responsibilities for elder aunt among the Logooli

With Seenge Fonesi. She is the elder grand daughter of Isagi and elder daughter of Amugasya. She is often present in functions involving the family of Amugasya. Pic taken on 18/4/2024. The elder sister soon becomes the elder aunt. It is this “seenge munene” (elder aunt) tag that she is tied to many cultural responsibilities – back home. To her marital family she may appear as any other woman, but she is not so in the eyes of her people. Marriage does not steal her away as it would happen with other daughters of the old man. To her, as days go and the old man and woman of the estate are dependents, she becomes increasingly present.  Her brothers also need her for almost all traditional markings. They are marrying, she needs to welcome the new wife. They are giving birth, she needs to come to midwife or “bless” the new born. They are paying dowry she needs to lead the women delegate. There is a conflict she needs to come for a hearing.  And many others. Traditions does not expect her to
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How bad do you know people?

 In today’s dream did I offend a friend. He found me severally doing what I was embarrassed for – stealing. I cannot remember what I was stealing for it was not such a big thing to benefit from. It must have been something as petty as sugar licking. Dreams happen to operate from an ‘I can’t help’ situation. I could not avoid stealing and also couldn’t avoid being caught. From his look he loathed my actions- and my whole being maybe. He knew me as a poor petty thief.

The gist to this article is…how do you know people? Do you think you know them truly? For whom they cannot else be? Does knowing him so influence your relations? Is it even worth to think you know people from a certain activity you identified them with?

The other day we sat round with our friend who calls himself the boss to brainstorm on a few issues. The discussion drifted to personalities. He was describing one of us as a book that only is known by the covers and hasn’t been read. He described a lady as a person using her feminity to gain among gentlemen. He was speaking for his eyes, heart and mind.

My neighbour knows me as a guy who doesn’t keep promises. So many a times have we arranged for a weekend hangout that never matures. When she is the one changing the plans, the deal has never hurt as it would if I was the game changer. A country ride is scheduled for this weekend and she’s all pessimistic of my going though I have promised.

That teacher who always found you on the wrong side of the law may have identified you as cheeky, troublesome, defiant and generally an irresponsible student. That friend whom you borrowed money from may no longer trust you again simply because you had not received your money in time to refund. You borrowed a bicycle from a friend yesterday and as if it was waiting for you that the fork breaks from the steering, there you are, guilty to replace with a new pair or else your friendship takes another direction.

We have a saying in Maragoli that relates to people with whom you cannot get along with. ‘Our bloods do not agree to each other’- it goes. The condition seems natural. There are brothers who will always be at par when you expecting such closeness to bring more friendship. There are people whom you will found self frowning upon without any reason. And there are those whose favour and approach you would keep rebelling.

What does that therefore make of us as humans? The phenomena may not have the right words or feeling in this article. It may keep you away from harmful people as it may prevent you from gaining the best of the people. It is alright for someone to be denied forum on his day of interview for that may be precedence…but wait, does the company know how wrong it was to deny that human a chance?

How well we understand the misunderstandings and misunderstand the understandings!

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