Heavy responsibilities for elder aunt among the Logooli

With Seenge Fonesi. She is the elder grand daughter of Isagi and elder daughter of Amugasya. She is often present in functions involving the family of Amugasya. Pic taken on 18/4/2024.

The elder sister soon becomes the elder aunt. It is this “seenge munene” (elder aunt) tag that she is tied to many cultural responsibilities – back home. To her marital family she may appear as any other woman, but she is not so in the eyes of her people.

Marriage does not steal her away as it would happen with other daughters of the old man. To her, as days go and the old man and woman of the estate are dependents, she becomes increasingly present. 

Her brothers also need her for almost all traditional markings. They are marrying, she needs to welcome the new wife. They are giving birth, she needs to come to midwife or “bless” the new born. They are paying dowry she needs to lead the women delegate. There is a conflict she needs to come for a hearing. 

And many others. Traditions does not expect her to be a slack. Even when she is born younger to older brothers she sooner grows very important.

She is expected to marry in time, before her younger sisters. And if the younger sisters happen to marry, their dowry payments have to be heralded by a mock of the elder sister’s. To mean that ‘she married first’ – when she will marry later. 

Her way of life is expected to follow a strict code of conduct. She is not expected to be homeless, as she is needed to support sustenance of other homes – her brothers’. Many have therefore had to suffer in marriages in the name of trying to show a good picture. Also, the more time she spends attending to issues back home ends up tying her in conflicts unintended and time wastage on her end. For there is hardly any gains from the responsibilities.

While excellent, her parents wish she were a male, to guide the estate. Good friend to her father, she is Ezinma, the admirable daughter of Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart. 

No one else, lest she is declared unable to perform her duties, can another take up the responsibility. In the event her brother dies, she is the interim husband to the widow, comforting her through it all. In case it is the wife of the brother that died, she is the one who temporarily takes over the home as a mother, together with nephews and nieces (vaseenge), as the bereaving goes on.

Her responsibilities in the family, even if her mother and father were still alive, are sacred. She will hold the razor after burial to shave off female kins as the elder brother does the same to males of the bereaved family. She will appoint the date of Lugoongo for all to come and cheer up – when the tears have subsided. 

Today “mambo ni mengi” – things are many. Aunt is strictly paternal, mother's sister is maama. The elder aunt could be married overseas and her phone calls cannot take care of anything. Little respect for traditions makes her fade in the modern world, her high call if unknown to her, is blind to her people. 

Come back again, Seenge Munene!