If you read through my 2015
diary, will you dislike me? Or will you understand me? How? Of course you may
want to like me for the daily recording effort doubting that you may turn to
that girl who took the 2012 diary to soak and then pour.
I don’t spare people who come
into my life just as I don’t spare talking of self in the strongest manner. If
you impact me with goodness, that is what I record. If I sense manipulation and
sinister motives in your ‘goodness’, how well my diary peels the mask!
Well, 2015 has been a moving
year. So much happened between the 1-365 days. There is no need to speak of
them here. A few experiences would do best.
I have friends whom we started
together the art of diary writing in January. I had spent some time urging them
that it was a smart daily therapy. At the start, it worked. With time, I
remained the only keeper. Not everything is for everyone. That is a point for
me, is it not?
A day’s record starts with what
happened from the last record. Was the sleep good? Did you dream? What was the
dream? The interesting part of diary writing from my view is to remember and
record dreams. Some of the dreams, in fear to forget, saw me starting to record
early in the morning against my evening’s tradition. What happened in the day
in its order followed till the time I tired to bed.
Something about dreams is that it
is fun to remember them. The phenomena to see many moons in the sky, two
setting suns, fighting when you are on the weak side, being lured to sex,
meeting people who are not present in the physical life all raises one to a
level of meditation. I don’t take my dreams lightly though not anxious to reflect
them to what happens later- some do come true later.
Living as a bachelor the entries
revolve around ‘I’ only including those I interact with in the day. Maybe in
future, when I will be replaced by ‘we’, which is not possible with diary
writing will be invented. There have been times (most) when life has been at
its peak and a few (intense) low moments. I have lately thought of the swing as
nature’s work inside- that the plants experience the same.
Writing to know who I am, to lead
a life of head and tail, to look back with pride and in future with courage has
opened a world that would be closed if I hurried a day off. Writing is to live
twice. A person is always passive when an activity is happening no matter if he
is enjoying best. In reflective writing, the person actively goes through a
past event with questions and suggestions ready to learn and apply in future.
Yes that not even the three recorded years can give a picture of who one really
is because a human being seems to have an infinite hole in the chest which
desires, thoughts and actions can’t satisfy.
Handling youth hood, late
adolescence, dealing with sex, struggle of economical independence, temptations
to do drugs, life fears, conflicts, being misunderstood, being wronged, finding
self resisting some things have featured as important themes in the year.
Unless one lives in seclusion where is one devil to wrangle with in the day-
seclusion devil? The year is however dedicated to friends who have greatly
offered company and support when they knew less what my ailing was.
As 2016 picks, the main goal is
to improve on 2015. Because I can always have my 2015, 2014 or 2013 a flip
away, there is easiness of improvement. Remembering my task to live as an
example by impacting through actions, words and writings, diary writing has
always stirred the urge be pure in every moment, every day. Failure is on the
path to growth hence readily met by any quick rising soul.
The diary speaks for itself. This article can’t.
We can exchange diaries!
Happy 2016! Remember to Keep a diary.
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