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Heavy responsibilities for elder aunt among the Logooli

With Seenge Fonesi. She is the elder grand daughter of Isagi and elder daughter of Amugasya. She is often present in functions involving the family of Amugasya. Pic taken on 18/4/2024. The elder sister soon becomes the elder aunt. It is this “seenge munene” (elder aunt) tag that she is tied to many cultural responsibilities – back home. To her marital family she may appear as any other woman, but she is not so in the eyes of her people. Marriage does not steal her away as it would happen with other daughters of the old man. To her, as days go and the old man and woman of the estate are dependents, she becomes increasingly present.  Her brothers also need her for almost all traditional markings. They are marrying, she needs to welcome the new wife. They are giving birth, she needs to come to midwife or “bless” the new born. They are paying dowry she needs to lead the women delegate. There is a conflict she needs to come for a hearing.  And many others. Traditions does not expect her to
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LOVE FLIP

I get bored when I interact with people for long. Things like music, computers, TV, clothes,etc that do influence mood and easiness can be manipulated to give you what you want. But a human being…no! That is why wives meet their husbands on the dining table, workmates break at 5 and have weekends. Contempt is managed here.

I wanted to write about love, but I am being manipulated by the start of this page to talk on its flip side.

Love is a European fetish thing. It does not apply to everyone. It is assumed to be a sexual propelled thing; the desire for an intimate soulmate. There is therefore man-woman attraction in which we must try hard to ignore so that we ‘legalize’ this love thing.
I have been in several high notes modes in desire for women. It started as soon as adolescence was latening. That wasn’t love, somebody would interrupt. Fluctuation, he’d accuse me of it. But what if we were ‘still’ together? The very person would put on the face of ‘real love it is’. Who says that it is love? No one but the end result. If it is not love till the end result, then it is something else waiting to be called love.

Women who are attracted to men, and men alike have their own chauvinistic reasons- you are beautiful, you are intelligent, you rich, you come from that family, you are convincing, I am marring you to show I can ‘love’ a blind man and all that. In truth, these are humans who having looked East and West, and moved by the desires of their flesh, found a reason to be with another. There are 50/50 chances that every relationship can break or make.

It would be preposterous to ask my grandmother whether she was loved by my grandfather. She wasn’t the only wife. Love is belittling, it is selfish, petty, kiddish, stupid and small for big hearts. When you draw a love line in terms of emotions and passions, how will you revive it when emotions and passions have faded? Children need love, animals need love, trees and every other thing alike. It is not some kind of quantity, it is beyond our defined scales.


The lady whom I saw the other day, gorgeous to the core and to whom I think all love songs are dedicated is not different from the love flip. I was attracted to her cause she is more beautiful which makes me fake- a chooser. I was hold aback before I decided to follow her….and talk to her…before getting near to think she could be older than I thought, or married….which made me just murmur, ‘we heading the same way’, and pass sheepishly. In a deep tenor, she croaked a sigh of agreement. I but look forward to meeting her again if not. If something between us develops, I’d refrain from calling it love. 

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