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Heavy responsibilities for elder aunt among the Logooli

With Seenge Fonesi. She is the elder grand daughter of Isagi and elder daughter of Amugasya. She is often present in functions involving the family of Amugasya. Pic taken on 18/4/2024. The elder sister soon becomes the elder aunt. It is this “seenge munene” (elder aunt) tag that she is tied to many cultural responsibilities – back home. To her marital family she may appear as any other woman, but she is not so in the eyes of her people. Marriage does not steal her away as it would happen with other daughters of the old man. To her, as days go and the old man and woman of the estate are dependents, she becomes increasingly present.  Her brothers also need her for almost all traditional markings. They are marrying, she needs to welcome the new wife. They are giving birth, she needs to come to midwife or “bless” the new born. They are paying dowry she needs to lead the women delegate. There is a conflict she needs to come for a hearing.  And many others. Traditions does not expect her to
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My sister is pregnant


‘That is the man that turned your sister this way and that way, banging her all through,’ says my friend. He had travelled to the rural unannounced and his eyes were blinded to see his younger sister, a girl she had supported in college heavier than a murandukizu banana species. It was his brother pointing to a dark man in a bar corner where they had gone to gallop.
 
I have a cousin whom I was in love with at age 12 there. We met again after some years and she did not appear very beautiful as before. Some girls are beautiful only when young. I met her in future at a time I thought I could break all traditional norms. She happened to be full to my surprise. Somebody had hurriedly filled her before I sinned. She is among many of my cousins who have given birth during and after secondary school.
Now the thorn is with me. There used to be witchcraft rumours in the village that when a young girl has kept herself safe for some years, a bad look from an evil woman would loosen her. Did she cast her black eye in our compound? I am against childbearing the way I am pessimistic with my existence. Humans are not endangered species! We exhibit selfishness and primitive dominancy through unregulated reproduction.
When your sister is pregnant and unmarried it means your mother shall be responsible- and you too. The flow of life becomes turbulent to her because her responsibilities and worries have increased. When one sister gives birth at home is like the first rain. Another shall come. We have people whose rural area is a no go zone because of the many helpless children there.
My careless friend was asking me the other day if he could be a father to a child whose mother he doesn’t love at all. Any serious friend considers that absurd. So you loved the vagina only? A critic would ask. He fears that an abortion would bring about a shameful situation he had experienced before. His first girlfriend had bled thoroughly after an abortion. Such are the situations that our sisters, in fear of pregnancy repercussions at home, risk.
On a lighter note, anyone can make a mistake. To think of child bearing as a mistake can be compared to thinking of one’s existence in the same measure. For I mentioned we are not endangered, there is need to control our dominancy. Resources are limited, our actions should be too. Whether the child grows to occupy presidency position it does not auger well if the chance was denied a child who was conceived in a celebrated love.
On a hard note, there is need for civic education to champion and shape values among the teenage and sexually active populace. If you got an STI during sex it shall be your fault. If you got pregnant and the child is unsure of pampers, you need a syringe not only on the arm but direct between the lips. Normalizing deviation and mistakes is costing us. It is robbing brothers of their chaste sisters. It is robbing society of its responsible young men.
Welcome to the world young one. It is not a good place to come.

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