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The struggle with many a rigid Logooli cultural practices

  The Logooli community is one of the deeply cultured societies – with near everything supposed to have been done as per custom – to allow another custom to follow. One example is that for a mature man (with a child or more) to be buried, there must be a house structure at home. Another is that a boy must be circumcised and nursed in father land. If maternal family decides to, the boy will have a hard time reconnecting with father people - a dent on his masculinity. There were two children who got burnt to death in a house in Nairobi. The single mother had left for night work. Elders were told that one of the children was Logooli. The other, the woman had sired with someone else. The Logooli family wanted to burry their little one and long discussed the do’s and don’ts. Of a man who died childless and the grave was placed as if he had died as a man with children. It should have been dug on the sides, the grave. A real thorn should have been thrust in his buttocks, his name go...
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You wrong, mother


Not all people are good. Not all mothers are good. Not all should we anyway love unconditionally. To respect your mother and father, as the only commandment with a promise may have been written by a parent who needed children’s attention. What does it anyway mean to respect your parent? Is respect not earned?

I am not in conflict with my mother but many a times have I encountered people who wanted their way through because they are ‘mothers’. They confuse motherhood with feminine nagging. It is true that boys grow to look down upon their mothers in retaliation to the controls their mothers impose. A mother who does not realize that his son has matured for independence will age sorrowfully unlike the one who lets it go.

Once a child grows, he is of the society. A home can provide two or three needs but the society will see to his fulfillment. A child, more so a boy who clings to a mother should sublimely be weaned through schooling, employment and worth tasks at home. The behavior of eating and sleeping as one spends the whole day on the couch or bedroom should not be condoned. That is when your mother becomes your mouthpiece.

I have seen mothers who control grownups like a tethered goat. They decide their friends, fill their times with schedules, and threaten those who behave otherwise and more. They say your sibling is better than you! You will regret for not honoring me! Coming out of the addiction could be as hard as divorcing a woman who has your kid.

An eye on positive chauvinism shows me that my mother is a woman like any other and should employ independence of mind and activity. Her thoughts should not be my words; her decisions should not be followed blindly. If it happened that your father was at par with your mother then a wise child was that which never heard more or less from either side. Treat her as a woman, as a girl for there is always a stubborn child in every grownup.

And who said she should rule over you because she gave birth to you?  Did she invent her womb? Is she a terrestrial? Your father should not command for respect because he sired you! He was also sired and consequently you shall sire. To hell with ‘She carried me for nine months’, to hell with ‘She wiped my poo poo’.

If your mother would cook for you, love you unconditionally, respect your views, be rational in her words as you are, then we need no bench hosts to talk about this. You can go on celebrating her every day. Sacrifice yourself for her! But when she is a tyrant, a runaway mother, she wears a lamb cloth, reserves her intentions, an expert in manipulation, get away from her. Don’t wait to bite her ear, for her to undress for you! Just like your worst enemy could be yourself, your mother could be a hole in the bucket.

Until you are unsuccessful, don’t say your mother is an angel. I tell you.

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