Community Workers; To what extend would you want to freely serve the community? How will that secure your future?

Has it ever occured to you that you would want to undo all committments, let all goals wallow and live like a spirit? Sometimes thoughts come up; You would want to leave your job, keep off from friends, deny a certain lifestyle and start living like never before majorly because the present way of life suffocates your brain. I am on that fence.

To be a sociopath seems the way because I am admiring M.E. Thomas in her book, Confessions of A sociopath. To be empathetic to beggars on the road may make you blind to the passing Benz- dreams worth to chase. To forever think of communities (I am a social worker who tends to think I can eradicate inequalities) will make me think less of self and advancement. In readiness to register a CBO, among my few questions have been, how will community work secure my future? If I was a choir member in a church, I'd not been thinking this way. 

Is it too late to harden the heart? Son of Soil should work to please his people. But will he please them when he has no resources? And what about if the people are not pleased...will I not hung self by the legs? The thought is to harden.

To harden is not to trust the heart but to commit the brain to doing away with barren stressors- working for the community for free. For if there is a god in charge of morality he should  wait for my child to enroll in a strike-free private school before asking how I got my wealth.