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| This was the look in heavens today 8th at 4am |
The only way I can survive in my
world of ‘perfectionism’ is by having a strong alternative spirit. I use the
diary to guide me in the day. What I wrote is what I strive to do- I can opt
for a superior activity but not at all a lesser one. When they fail, I get
sick. When a meeting I long waited for doesn’t occur, I feel bad.
And so I was in town late in the
evening to see the beggars. They had not reported to work. But Nairobi town is
a forest of beggars- there were others I talked to. And the talk was so moving
that I thanked God that I never met them. And when what was expected doesn’t
come along, what comes is equally helpful- maybe for the next time.
So what happens when sleep fails?
When plans go wrong? When hope fades? Alternatives! Instead of denial, hit
acceptance jackpot. Agree that you not perfect, recall past good memories and
promise yourself that you can do better. In school when I failed, I only saw
hope in the next paper- and it never disappointed.
Thinking that if I do not see the
moon I’ll have to call mama and ask her about the skies of Ukambani, eyes were
compensating their closing the previous night. The alarm at 2pm found no moon
in the sky but the wakefulness at 4pm identified a few stars up and the satellite. I had woken from a dream that connected to the one on 4th or 5th if you have read the previous moon posts. In the dream the acronym messages were now explained in the sky. It was happening because I had a diary- that I could record for others as evidence. And the shaking! And the voice of God in the ears telling me something like I can't run away. More trembling...then no sleep.
What a beautiful moment that followed when I went out to urinate on the grass. It is good to be solo so that such kind of madness
someone doesn’t think about them against you. I ruled the night.
Focusing on the ill moon- because
it is about to die-the alternative is to prepare for its absence. Good people
will come and go- the alternative is to have the right mind set. We shall all
conquer the pains of one-way thoughts if we have as many alternatives that the
main highway doesn’t brag to be the only path.
The alternative to see the moon
was to be awake. Dance or die! The alternative to get the beggars out is to
sustain their lies, unreliability and uncertainty of the future. And if I do
not have time to do what I had planned for I should not get sick- there can
always be a better thing for me.
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