The wannabe writer of Betrayal in Kenyan politics must be editing his manuscript to yet insert the interesting chapter of 2017 elections. The chapter is heavy that it may go past the hundred thousand or so pages that Raila and company filed in another court battle to oppose presidential results. Here in this chapter he would be boring to avoid the voice of wannabe's in their contribution to the democrazy that is five plus decades.
We started by doing all we could by assembling a parallel tallying system in the cloud. That means we spent a big time thinking that this round Germans and Russia itself would not allow Uhuru to win for everyone would know how he has been stealing.
They formed an alliance with Ruto Muzuri hoping that he would cut Rift Valley by half now that Gideon Moi, following his father's words, a move cooked by Mama Ngina herself, Kenyan Queen. Kenya wanted change and many wannabes thought change was in replacing bad leaders and the president was the main change agent.
Nominations allowed those who flopped to revenge by being Independent candidates. They wouldn't support their parties plea to support their mates but rebelled to wannabe wing. Instead, Raila lead team lost heavily to Jubilee because of the parties that formed NASA coalition, each had a candidate. Through pass to Jubilee.
All excuses were talked, Baba saying military was being planned to rig, extra ballot boxes questioned (remember the opposed move by Nasa to change the tendered company), flown ballots before the D-day and the chilly murder of ICT expert of the electoral body, young of family and life, Chris Musando.
The stadiums were bursting with wannabes, helicopters hovered and Baba's last arrow was in the air heading to the bull's eye. He attended the Presidential debate alone and made us many jokes. My Facebook friends preferred chatting with Uhuru and their names betrayed them.
Early on the day of entering Canaan, Nane Nane Nane (8th of August and Raila 8th on the ballot) in many places wannabes slept on the queue. At cockcrow, women were whistling and clasping, having slept tight as Baba had ordered, deny your partner! This made the day a fully queueing one, an initiation kind, making friends and getting deals. The sick, old, drunk, civilised, beautiful and the lame met at a station. Githeri man got famous for eating what most kenyans survive on. We were really in need of a laugh under the bright sun. Clerks and Agents looked at each other suspiciously as counting neared. By 8pm Uhuru was leading at 54% with less than a hundred thousand total counted votes. This would classically ring with Ntv melody as they long maintained the fake results as Nasa had explained how rigging had been done online hours at the start of counting.
Wannabe's woke up to an Uhuru lead and started sending their congratulations even when they had voted for Raila. That was the time when constituency tallies were ongoing. Legally no results would be valid because form 34b's were not ready as the court had ruled to have them as final and no national tallying should alter them. These wannabe's were deep celebrating Governor and MCA positions, omena hash tag tings. The fish sit was now left to hate mongers against Uthamaki. Police had already unleashed terror by clubbing and shooting at stony protestors. Some wannabes wished they had guns.
TVs did their best in keeping us peaceful and fearful of the consequences of fights. They however failed, in their wannabes to say something about ballots that came from forests.
They did not have a media tallying centre which would have recorded announcements from 290 constituencies. Instead Larry Madowo was seen behind lens taking a cup of tea in studio which wannabes interpreted as 'being in the field'. As much fake information was spread by wannabes so was much hidden by media.
You did not do enough to take care of your votes, wannabes told us. Yet they disagreed vehemently with 'linda kura' motto where youths were prevented from guarding Raila's votes. This was fatal after IEBC having said that internet network was poor in many areas even in my village. Wannabes did not see this as against the 'smooth' text streams that was quickly updated on the servers.
Wannabes watched Baba as he appeared again to the media again drawing fun from his angry look. Joshua bonoko, they said. He would only tale Walevites in his Naswa bus that destined at Githurai 44, his percentage vote count. As that went on so did the country get informed of the more parliamentary sits Jubilee had scooped in western province. All the winners beat their opponents by thirteen thousand, fixed number, a wannabe rumoured. It was a huge and long term plan that took deep Jubilee planning and it sacrificed Shebesh and Lusaka. The plan needed to be real! And they would have won if they wanted to because all results were first seen on the server unlike it shouldnbe first counted and sent to the server. A clerk was recorded counting 96, 97, 98, 99, 300, 301! Schools have never helped the wannabes. And you would only open the box for recounting if a court declared so. That, to a wannabe is a pipe dream. The court system is a shit of a process that the desire for justice is replaced with better avoid agony and accept to move on!
He is unusually quiet, said the wannabes when two days later Raila had not spoken in open. Ruto and Uhuru had only appeared to be given elect certificates with the donkey racers accepting defeat. Wannabes were also in deep love with IEBC CEO Ezra Chiloba for putting the right lies in order, apologising to the media severally for not keeping time and constant flops in his words. To the Chair, the system was attempted to be hacked but did not succeed, to him there never was a thing like hacking and Nasa was not convinving. Wannabes wondered who the hackers were, how Nasa had found out hacking evidence if they themselves were not hacking. As all that went on, wannabes kept their eyes to Uhuru's 8million 54% lead, a constant lead for three days of incoming results.
Jubilee got votes in Western Kenya, Kisii and Nyamira saying Thanks to Uhuru for appointing the fiery Matiang'i as education minister and also interim Internal Security (who killed Nkaiseri a month to elections, Dear Wannabe?) and Chief Justice Maraga. It could be true, Mr. Wannabe and it could also be false for Ruto wanted a sure 2022 state house Entrance. When Baba spoke later that he would head to court because organisations that would do that were now wannabe anti-government institutions which is against the King's desire. Every wannabe immediately became a lawyer.
As we keep waiting for the court to redeem itself in this wannabe democrazy republic, some have noted that IEBC servers are still counting election results with Uhuru soon going to become the president of Africa, and who knows, the World! The server would still show Raila as World's opposition leader with a billion and more votes still at Githurai 44 no matter his time travel to Canaan. This is because Musando's eye was to shut down the server, true Lady Wannabe? And because he is dead, the server would count till Christ comes.
This article won't speak for all wannabes. The mentioned are but a few with hope that the club will get more members before and after the court ruling. Now that the 34a forms are being stolen from ballot boxes to be corrected as wannabes are reporting, the case is going to be mother of all cases in the republic. It would only pause the wannabes if it fails for Raila wont fail to issue another national dossier to keep wannabes employed and called on TV or have reasons to gather in towm halls.
Long live Raila!
Sincerly,
Wannabe
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