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Heavy responsibilities for elder aunt among the Logooli

With Seenge Fonesi. She is the elder grand daughter of Isagi and elder daughter of Amugasya. She is often present in functions involving the family of Amugasya. Pic taken on 18/4/2024. The elder sister soon becomes the elder aunt. It is this “seenge munene” (elder aunt) tag that she is tied to many cultural responsibilities – back home. To her marital family she may appear as any other woman, but she is not so in the eyes of her people. Marriage does not steal her away as it would happen with other daughters of the old man. To her, as days go and the old man and woman of the estate are dependents, she becomes increasingly present.  Her brothers also need her for almost all traditional markings. They are marrying, she needs to welcome the new wife. They are giving birth, she needs to come to midwife or “bless” the new born. They are paying dowry she needs to lead the women delegate. There is a conflict she needs to come for a hearing.  And many others. Traditions does not expect her to
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My daughter, let education be your first husband.

-: Family, an interesting discussion is going on at NTV. Watch it. Come late night we shall have a small discussion.
- Its on gender dilemma

-: It's late night... Can a discussion commence? At least vana vakogona. We go talk about a contemporary issue.

Do you think the boy child is at a loss now that the girl child seem empowered'?

Let us discuss

-: The boy child was empowered long time ago and only needs to understand himself .the girl child is simply coming to where she was supposed to be .

-: He doesn't understand himself?

-: Our grandmothers and mothers used to work hard and were the pillars of the home,girls underwent training in the hands of the grandmas and ensured that homes were very stable economically even in the absence of the husbands a situation which changed in 90s with ladies expecting men to do everything. To me the girl child is starting to remember how hardworking she is supposed to have been

-: The boy childs priviledges n respect was jeorpadized in the 70s n 80s .This is the time men started mipango ya kando read (sugar daddies).
House wives wakaanza kuumia with no economic security.
Mothers waanza kuhimiza binti zao kusoma kwa bidii.
My mother used to tell that education is our 1st husband

-: Like man be the second husband?

And this school going thing... Is it even justified? For much  learning doesn't even happen at school. Serious learning is past school doors.

I mean that did schools create a false sense of freedom? That you better and deserve more? These more being a service to the ego? Which girls have too?

That initiation was left for education. Those who pass exams become 'succeeded initiates'. And because both girls and boys are equally initiated it therefore becomes equal hardships, equal share.

-Mhph?

Comments

  1. poas7723 December 2017 at 08:44

    Great topic here!. As a young boy growing up, i was under the influence of women, both positive and negative. I was a lone boy for the longest time till my younger brother came a long. But at 12 years, what was a toddler going to change, during the formative stages of my life? So my initial bias against the girl child was formed in the days when the girl child was disadvantaged, but for I was numerically under siege, 5 women in my household saw to that. What I’m saying is, i had a taste of what girls went through in respect to accepting gender roles, roles that in my view, went along way in shaping the boy/girl child debate we are having right now. So at some point, i felt men should always be on top, decision makers for themselves and others. The Adolescent set in and i discovered that my father, who spent most of his time in Nairobi working, expected his word to be final. I soon realized i was the son of my mother and no man was going to tell me what to do. Then my mother too demanded i listen to my father. I was stunned. It was at this point i started having a different look "unfairness" of the system. I questioned this system and i still do. My questioning has been expansive. It’s this questioning that made me jump on the girl child empowered bandwagon. I have gone further to question the importance of dowry as practiced now and the effects this " Buying" has on the mental resilience of the girl child. Can this Can this make me a bonafide girl child champion? May be. I still believe more than ever, that boys and girls should get equal opportunities to have a go at life’s promises. I do not believe the girl child is too powerful and the boy child now on the receiving end. More needs to be made to have the girl child truly live up to her potential. The next stage in empowerment of the girl child does not however rest on the shoulders of the activists’ powerful female figures. It does not even rest on the show biz class of the socialites. It does not rest on the boy child activists of the Cyprian Nyakundi mold. It rests on those shoulders of men and women, mature enough to admit their own bias when dealing with the issue of children rights and parental responsibility. The future of the boy/ girl child needs we all do an introspection, admit our own bias and treat Cyprian Nyakundi & Vera sidika company as entertainment needing parental guidance. The girl child needs to be saves from the semi empowered women who believe empowerment is the independence to own a car, live alone with a dog or a cat as the daily companion.

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